Love letter

You have filled an unimaginable silence

where whispers cascaded in single files,

a creativity of love worth longing for,

true beauty where true love lies

And because I was sadder,

I loved much longer,

neither souls could tell

Yours is a galaxy of affection worth longing for,

while mine's

a symphony of secrets entrusted where two hearts beat as one.

Tricia Bethel

Midnight Rose

I hear the noise of silence,

deep in my soul

urging me to calm the turbulence

that I wore so old

my fingers reaches outwards

searching

seeking

a passion so red

just waiting to explode

like a rose at midnight.



Tricia 03.2009

Immortal

Immortal


Thoughts run deep

like rivers unending

Carrying me to an ocean

where nothing is impossible

brown eyes wide open

piercing

body arched with emotions

yet tall, breathing, waiting

anticipating

hands finally carrying me

to where I belong

Immortality

Power of love

Power of love (published in Diaspora magazine USA 2003)


Full satisfaction, a desperate quest

quiet night, silent request

from a heart void

reflecting the soul of a lover.

wishful eyes, lonesome, teary,

penetrating dense impediments of love.

melodious sounds

softening the heart

moistening the lips, salivating

yet miles apart, imagery creating reality.

OH what power of love!

What power of Lonesome minds!



Copyright 2009 Tricia Bethel

Fallibility

Fallibility

I see them everywhere

yet nowhere

They are invisible to me

They see my exterior

I read their interior

perverted thoughts of sex and making money

Emotions of greed and selfishness carved in every lines of their faces

They act all important

yet they are impotent

pretending to know it all

They thrive on others weaknesses

and not on their strengths

liars whose self-worth is less than dirt

whose eyes traces a generation even worse

than the existing

fallible





copyright 2009 Tricia Bethel

Strong Black Woman in Asia

To you the strong black women out here in Asia


Black woman

you have travelled so far

trotted through disappointments

bled through heart breaks

journeyed through

racism

rejection

yet your beauty still shines

like a million peeping stars



Black woman

dry your tears

you have been liberated

freed from your fears

this world promise's nothing

but to give of yourself

and receive nothing in return

your strength is an ever flowing fountain

your kindness

surely not weakness

and here's to say

I am proud to be your friend



Copyright 2009 Tricia Bethel

Cheap Kiss

Cheap kiss




A musty Cafe

stink of cigarette smoke

sounds of loud chattering

Mixed with jazz

Mixed with soul

breaking concentration

confusing emotions



fingers writing

with a steady rhythm

writing in Mandarin

An occasional pause

wide eyes searching

questioning

The taste of caffeine lingering



Outside another world

bustling feet going nowhere

going everywhere

The reflection of a face in the window

dimmed by the steady candle lighted

burning

beckoning



A deep voice

an exchange of glances, smiles,

butterflies

the smell of perfume mixed with sweat

lingering

intoxicating



Awkwardness

self consciousness

His laughter, her laughter

Then an occasional silence

The rhythm of heartbeats

beating

erupting



A door slams shut

the wind in its fierceness

A world in its craziness

And,

the lingering taste in her mouth of caffeine and green tea.



Written while sitting in Bridge Cafe in bejing.

copyright 2009 Tricia Bethel

A world is lost

A world is lost


by Tricia Bethel on Tuesday, March 24, 2009 at 7:45am

I watch time in its infinity

slipping through the hour glass

I read the faces of humanity

like pages of stories already told

I feel a presiding divinity

not for what exist but for what has ceased

ceased to be the foothold of our society.

The thoughts of our youths

has been kidnapped by vanity

in our parents eyes

dwells nothing but anxiety

All that exist is the lack of obedience and love

whatever happens to filial piety?



2009 Tricia Bethel

Love

Love


by Tricia Bethel on Sunday, April 5, 2009 at 10:27pm


I felt the sun upon my face

drying my tears

chasing my fears

far away into outer space.

I feel its energy

giving me energy

and I know I am ready

to feel

to love

to fly

to try

this feeling is worthwhile.

Although it won’t last

I want to bask...in its goodness

My heart's beating fast

because for once I felt happiness

that’s deep

that’s strong

that’s true

like me and you.

Although life is short

and we are the dust in the wind

I will try and do my part

and follow the path

that leads to love and life.

Fly

Fly




Fly away little wings

to that place where you belong

across the ocean's distant skies

your trail lingers all along



how I long to see you fly

high above to reach the sky!



fly away little wings

escape the sorrow and the pain

Oh, how my poor heart sings,

"dreams are precious than wealth to gain!"



How I long to see you fly

high above to reach the sky!



fly away little wings

you are far too special to stay behind

Don't trap yourself in strings

you have so much more to find



How I long to see you fly

high above to reach the sky!





Written by Tricia Bethel 2009

My secret corner

My secret corner


by Tricia Bethel on Sunday, April 19, 2009 at 10:56am


I have a secret corner

where I sit and laugh,

at my foolish mistakes

or think about my other half.

Sometimes I cry

When my heart is fray,

or maybe I just lie

and imagine that one day,

I will be a princess in a castle,

or a snow girl on a sleigh.

In my secret corner

I can sing and play,

or pretend to be a wizard

and turn the sky to ash grey.

in my secret corner

at times so merry and gay,

I wish upon the day

that its truly here to stay.



Tricia Bethel 2009

Strawberry affair

Strawberry affair


by Tricia Bethel on Wednesday, April 22, 2009 at 9:27pm


Strawberries at 2 am

a whole lot of 'em

red, satisfying

each one's promising.

Taste so good,

I wonder if I should

keep indulging.

Red juice dripping

on my bed sheet

what a darn, old cheat

sliding down my fingers

it's sweet taste lingers

upon my tongue

this night's no longer young.

With stains on my lips

I'm now pregnant with sleep

This affair's so deep

what a strawberry night

of pure strawberry delight!

Disturbia

Disturbia


by Tricia Bethel on Wednesday, May 6, 2009 at 10:52am

In my mind there is a place

where I yearn to be

that which I wish to be, me.

This place is not far to reach

but my heart's a burden

and my footsteps a' laden

that I cannot get there.

The voices in my head

and memories of what were said,

are my internal enemies

ebbing away at my peace

and neither will it cease.

we sleep side by side on the bed

we eat together

and usually comfort each other.

each time I try to let go

It will dissuade me from leaving

and i start a grieving.

This pseudo affair

of thoughts weaved by society

is the reason for my anxiety.

but somehow I find myself

tearing up the pages of these voices

and holding on tightly to my own choices

I watch them fly with the wind

and I feel a sense of relief

to let go of so much grief.

Goodbye disturbia.

RIP

R.I.P MY Loving cousin




You never see it coming, yet it’s inevitable

the shock, the hurt, the feeling of deep lost

you are left helpless, not even knowing how to react

if to believe, to wait for better news

maybe hoping it was false and she was somewhere getting better

but then it hits you

that it is true, that life is stealing from us what we deserve

and though it may seem tragic, her soul is free and happy

yet the tears roll down our cheeks, and we feel like cursing the day

but what use if she is now in a better place? happy and safe?

now we are left, with the memories, the lack of sleep,

the pain, the necessity to trudge on, knowing that we will not walk this earth side by side again

or chat or quarrel and makeup again.

I forgive you, I love you. We are one blood, one family and one heart.

Thanks to everyone who showed their sympathy.

One Love.

A Christmas note

A christmas Note


by Tricia Bethel on Thursday, December 24, 2009 at 7:24am



I write this note on a Christmas eve

with you in mind my dear friends.

But I haven't a present to give

for in my pocket are just a few coins

and I wonder How can I buy enough presents

for everyone with just these few coins.

I though how nice it would be to get everyone an expensive present

to show their value to me

but with these few coins left I can only buy the smallest of things.

So I went out on a cold Christmas eve and bought me some paper

and I bought me a pen

and I wrote a Christmas note. This is what it says:



" Because words are more valuable than expensive gifts I used them as my gift to you,

to say Thank you for being a friend,
for sharing with me special moments,
for being supportive and caring, for being there just to listen and laugh with me,
or cry with me,
for giving advice and for reaching out your hand when I need you the most.
I hope that out friendship will continue forever and I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New years! "

Finding myself

Finding myself


by Tricia Bethel on Thursday, January 7, 2010 at 9:18pm

Emotions flowing

like the river Nile

I need a large book that I can write on

write my poetry.

I can't resist anymore

for It's my time,

to release my yearning

and allow my spirit to wonder

to fly and touch the face of my dreams

touch the highest notes of my melody

touch the keys to my soul

I feel like I can live forever

and it will not be over till it's all done

my purpose, my dream

I have found happiness in isolation

while others constantly seek companion

I am the artist, the poet, a creator

thirsty to learn what shapes me,

what brings a twinkle to my eyes

now it’s my time to be.

This feeling is worthwhile

why not give me some time to try.

The world has constantly shaped us

but maybe just too much

I must guard my soul

for while I seek I find

and what I've found is amazing

what I've found is me.

Heavenly Snow

Heavenly Snow


by Tricia Bethel on Friday, January 8, 2010 at 6:48pm


Heavenly show, falling from the sky

you are like manna for the hungry

you are like toys for the kids who never plays

Heavenly snow, smiling from the sky

you are like the face of God, so pure and white

you bring us joy, to young and old alike.

How the children love to run and play in you.

Heavenly snow, raining from the sky

you glisten from the sun's rays

like white diamonds that’s only temporary

you wash away the pollution, the dirt and filth

you clean the hearts of the wicked and corrupt.

Heavenly snow, you are like an example to men

so majestic, so universal and exalted

yet heavenly snow, you remain simple and kind.

Mistaken Alumni:

Mistaken Alumni:




How much longer

must I endure the unendurable?

To keep stirring the grave

of this already dead interest?

How much longer

will I be bored?

Tricia Bethel

My own selfish interest

I seek my own interest, and there you were


seeking your own interest too, and in this I met your friend,

who was also seeking his own interest. And while we were all seeking

our own interest, like everyone usually seeks their own interest,

It happened that we all were seeking each other’s interest too.

This way I helped you seek your own interest while you

helped your friend seek his own interest,

who in turn helped seek my own interest too

The Musician

She sits in the attic


in solitude,

melodies emitting from her petite fingers.

A sonata from Mozart,

so well rehearsed,

that while her fingers glides over black and white,

her eyes are fixed

outside the window near her.

Nature beholds a silence

interrupted by her rhythmic melodies

and the green trees,

they sway and clap.

They are her only audience.

Red

The frills of her red dress


spins and twirls

with every move her body makes.

it moves in gallant waves that tosses and meanders,

revealing glimpses of her white petticoat underneath.

like freshly picked red and white roses

dancing before his very eyes.

He sits in the corner, face half hidden

under a sombrero. As he watch her

he falls in love,

He did not know her name was red.

Two Worlds apart

I sit atop this world


and watch the other pass me by

This world so monotonous and unkind

the other so cheerful and defined

Engaging my daily duties, I fight an incessant urge

to peek over at this other world.

I sometimes try and copy

the things they do so sloppy,

But my world has limited time

yet there stands time, still in it's prime!

I sometimes sit and daydream

of being part of their team.

Limited choices we are given here

there we learn from each other's voices

I just choked over coffee while engaging in politics

there I sing, paint and write a type of frolitics!

I must earn a dime as a boring English teacher

The Sea

Sea, Oh great Sea!


I remember you.

You laid still and gray

under the moon your master, scolding you

and when he goes for a stroll, past the horizon

you start galloping,

stretching forth your enormous tongue

and swallowed my grandfather

while he fished

in a boat.

Mother nature

The Universe carries me in her bosom


She nutures me like a child

all my life.

She nurses me through the Yellow river and the Caspian sea

she feeds me from the fruits of her golden trees

I am clothed from her finest feathers and wool.



She often rocks me and sings through the wind

while I watch the sun and moon

my toys;

chase each other in the sky,

like an endless infatuation.



when silence comes to visit her

in his black overcoat,

My eyes would grow weary with sleep

and I'd dream that one day I would leave her.

Only my foot prints will be carved on her heart.





Tricia

Lily and why?

Never a day goes by


when I don't think about you

when I don't silently share a tear for you,

My heart endlessly aches for you

The girl we once knew is no longer you

lily-and why?



You were the most innocent one

the most special one

the one loved by everyone

you had a soul purer than anyone

just as a lily-and

then you petals started to wither



We were too blind to see you falling

too caught up to see you calling

out for help

you pretended you were fine

that there was nothing there to mind

but this was not true lily-and

why?



We tried everything

to bring you back but everything

was not worth anything,

and I watch you fall

and fall

and fall

and tears roll down my eyes

as I say a prayer for you.



I know you'd wish you'd die

rather than live and suffer a lie,

But I know your soul will return

like a lily-and

I'll watch you multiply

and i'll water you

so that you may grow

so that others can see the real beauty

in you Lily and why?



Tricia Bethel

My Valentine's

You ain’t got a lover


And I ain’t got one either

But its Valentine’s day

And we are together anyway



We aint got to do all the things that lovers do

We can just enjoy each other’s company.

Find a place on your sofa that's comfortable

Where we can sit and talk

And later go for a long walk,

Then collapse in an innocent nap



You ain’t got no ring on your finger

and I aint got one either

But it’s valentine’s day

and we are together anyway



We ain’t got to do the things that lovers do

I just like the way I feel when I’m with you

I hope I make you feel the same way too.

You’re like the calm in the storm.

The night is young, the hearth is warm

The flames they roar with passion.



You ain’t got a best friend

I ain’t got one either

but it’s valentine’s day

And we are together anyway.





Tricia Bethel Feb 14, 2010

Gold

With time you grew cold


and precious like a rare piece of gold.

People came to look at you

Wondering for how much you can be sold.

They even criticized you

saying that your value is much too high.

Others came to feast their eyes

Some made promises which turned out to be lies

While others acted the role of thieves and spies.

Nevertheless with time you grew so cold

And precious, like a rare piece of gold.

Tricia Bethel

My all

I tried


I failed

I tried again

I stumbled

I fell down

I got up

I fell again

I forgot

I remembered

I forgot again

I remembered better

I bent my back

I labored

I suffered

I sweated

I got a headache

I got backache

I grew tired

I grew weak

I tried harder

I lost sleep

I lost hope

I lost inspiration

I lost my money

I lost my love

I lost friends

I delved deeper

I discovered

I got faster

I got efficient

I got stronger

I got better

I found myself

I found hope

I found inspiration

I found my purpose

I did my all,

All for the sake of perfection!

Tricia Bethel

The Refugee cry

She cries from the depth of her soul


She has no place to call her home

In her arms an empty bowl

by her mouth a glimpse of whitened foam





What was once a city is now ruins

What was once a garden now rests the dead

From the soil cries out the blood of her siblings

And only close by she had her bed



She has no choice

Where can she go?

For help is slow

Help is slow

Help is slow.



She tries with every second of the day

To erase the haunting memories of fear

For what sins must she have to pay?

For what turmoil her frail heart must bear?



What was once hope has turned to despair

What was once light, now sets an angry sun

in the silence of a dense, dark night I heard a prayer

and the resounding shot of another gun.



She has no choice

Where can she go?

For help is slow

Help is slow

Help is slow.



She has no choice

where can she go?

For help is slow

Help is slow

Help is slow.

Footprints

Footsteps hastily come and go


Some big some small

Some memorable some forgettable

Nevertheless they come and go

And leave their prints in the sand.

Some fade with the rising tide of the sea

Some gets stepped over,

Some are so tiny, by sunset; the wind gently blows them flat.

But some remains high up on the sand

For everyone to see.

These are the footsteps that we remember

The ones who have left footprints in the sand

an impression on our lives

Which footprints are you??



Written by Tricia Bethel

2010

Finding Happiness

I have been searching for happiness, but one day I decided to surrender all and there it was:




I surrender my fears, my insecurities, my wants.

I surrender my past, my mistakes and my imaginary future.

I am not afraid of failure

I am not afraid of danger.

I feel confident

I feel secure.

I trust in God

I trust myself.

I believe in Angels,

I believe in Miracles.

I never envy anyone for having more than me.

I feel safe, protected by God.

I don't allow myself to become a victim of parties or shopping

I don't consume alcohol to the point of being helpless

I am not addicted to cigarettes.

I am not needy for anyone next to me.

Alone or in company I create my own happiness.

I am satisfied with me,

My brown eyes, my brown skin,

My slender body. I am satisfied with me.

I love myself

I don't want to be anyone else.

I never seek compliments from anyone.

I don't day dream, I don't have regrets

I learn to forgive people who hurt me even when it's hard.

I learn from my mistakes,

I share my experiences.

I listen to others;

I don't just think about myself.

I don't boast and I am humble.

I appreciate and cherish every day,

I have values and manners.

I am aware of my surroundings and changes.

I am far from being rich

but I am better off than many

I learn to appreciate what I have.

I learn to surrender all.



Some people look but cannot see

some people listen but cannot hear

some people touch but cannot feel

some people breathe but cannot smell



lets strive to not be one of those people.



Tricia Bethel

Reflections

Watching me watching you


I see your limitations in me

you see my strength in you

I learn from your mistakes

you teach me lessons I never knew.

waiting on me waiting on you

to make the first leap

to fall down so I can laugh

so you can laugh,

or cry, or stretch forth your hands

and show sympathy

I don't know for sure

you don't know for sure if

what I am is who you are

who we are.

Listening to me listening to you

to hear the rhythm of your steps

to feel the thumping of my heart

and see the naked truth

that lies beneath these flesh and bones.



Understanding you understanding me

in dept and breath and soul

that which takes a lifetime to accomplish

can be attained in just a wink,

if only we did not built these strong walls

that separates me that separates you

from fragility,

that which exposes who we are

the naked truth inflicted with pain.





Tricia Bethel 2010

Waking up to nothing

I woke up to solitude,


but I am not lonely.

I woke up to hunger,

but I have food to eat.

I woke up to green trees,

and birds singing just outside my window.

I woke up feeling naked,

but there's a roof above my head.

I woke up to friends, phone calls

and endless activities.

I woke up to music, art

and story books.

I woke up to freedom and peace,

but I couldn't help wonder

about the ones who woke up to nothing.

Breaking Dawn

Who decides when sorrow ends

to cut the roots from under the plant,

If hearts once lost thus mends

Some lives be lived a gallant.



mystery laughs with every movement

into the night unknown

vampires engaging in amusement

and misty pathways urges you to walk alone.



Loving a stranger who's bloodthirsty

yet fear feels separated from your being

Dense, piercing eyes speaks lustily

of what's once unknown now seen.



Twilight casting shadows of doubts

on murky ponds reflecting faces lost

no voices drowned can ever know what truth is about

or how much one's life costs.



Eternity extends its fingers

crippling, dying, fading like a leaf

you must decide now or never as death lingers

Twilight creeps up slowly as a thief.





Writer:Tricia Bethel 2010

From the Movie Twilight

Eyes of secret

A log in your eyes can never be seen


but Oh how critical you have been!

Tears flows in abundance where few abound

but where many are gathered tears are but rare.

for the eyes are a secret passage

leading to pains that grow with age;

to the secrets hidden, songs unsung, bitter, sweet and rage.

Poetry by Tricia Bethel 2003

From dusk till dawn

Situations controlling me

I dropped to the ground

hearing voices laughing at the filthy vagrant

my heart is burdened

my soul is screaming for release

in a world I can only imagine my own.

silence bothered me to insanity

no one cares to help

nor even to brush the dusk of my blackened clothes

My veins are pounding

from a life wasted in procrastination

laziness and depression.

The wind in my ear howled

urging me to rise up

to run for shelter from this cruel, sarcastic world.

I must try till my bones are rotted dry

till my capillaries scream for rescue beneath my scorched skin.

Scorched from the sun's rays upon my back

scorched from the confusion in my weary mind.

I must try till it’s over and

Oh Theophilous the great

I will join you 9 feet under

only when it’s all over.

Poem by Tricia Bethel 2004

Universal breath

Watch me, but do not underestimate me


judge me, not by what you heard about me

nor by the garments that I chose to wear.

instead get to know me

and you will find

yes you will find

someone totally distinguished from the similarities of mankind.

I am a child of the universe

and a victim of your opinion

with a verse for a new hymn

I shall start my singing.

Stripped of my innocent pride

I sometimes feel like not living

but with goodness in my heart I will continue giving

nothing but love even if I quit receiving.

Scrutinize me

Ostracize me

seeking the truth for it shall set us free.

The truth in you

is the truth in me

I am a child of the Universe

Only free to be the individual that I choose to be.

poetry by Tricia Bethel 2003

Imagine

Search my soul


and accept what's there

is it your desire?

Does it match with what you aspire?

Imagine unity

imagine divinity

can we attain them all?

Is it what your heart seeks to aspire?

Listen to my heartbeat

feel it merge with yours

Can I dream of love in depth?

Or will I live only for regrets?

imagine silence

imagine my absence

Do you ever feel the emptiness when you are drowning in loneliness?

Imagine me

imagine you

like two hearts in symphony

together forever in love's sweet harmony.

Tell me "amore bonito"

can you make it a reality?

Will it be forever if we make it totally fidelity?

Poetry by Tricia Bethel 2003

Reflection

Hanging on the wall


in a picture frame

untouched and admired

is the most beautiful of life's beauty there is.

For when beauty itself is explored

it becomes more and more revealing

and less and less appealing.

Tricia Bethel (year unknown)

Decisions

If all rainbows end in tears


the journey is not worth taking

the mile

nothing but heartbreaking.

If every fading sunset leaves you alone and dark

hopefully the moon will provide that feeling

reflecting your soul

providing inner healing.

For the fear of a journey begins

not when you don't know it's path

but when you fear the unexpected

of having to walk down its track.

Tricia Bethel 2003

Quest for success ( published in Black Diaspora magazine, USA 2003)

My eyes are heavy with sleep


as I discover the true art of living

every memory a moment to keep

paging through thoughts instead of dreaming.

history fills my mind

raping its innocence, spreading it's influence.

memories of a vivid past

lingers deep in undying thoughts

forcing me at last

to discern knitted facts from scraps.

Thoughts forced me to tiredness

carrying me to the paths of desire

where past livelihood transpired.

I am young and determined to meet

the levels attained by successors

In my dreams I shall stop to greet

the unknown troop of progressors.

my quest will only be completed

with my determined will

sleepless nights

and a burning desire to ignite the flames of success.

Tricia Bethel 2003

Broken hearts

I watched you though painful brown eyes


hating you for your insensitivity

hating you for all of your lies

you possessed me

you hypnotized me

I feel my mind losing its sanity

the perfect picture torn to shreds

memories of your obscurity

lingers deep in my darkest thoughts

you possessed me

you hypnotized me

But somewhere within me

someone was reborn

somewhere I found the power within

to cure the raging storm

storm of despair

storm of fear

storm of wasted passion

attained throughout the years.

Tricia Bethel (2003)

Traditional love

Modernization quenched the fire

dwindling the flames of loves desire

making it difficult to acquire

a feeling of love which may never again transpire.

Modernization killed the sparks

buried beneath selfish desires

from an imaginary romance I remove my bookmark

waiting to embrace moments gone dark

Modernization was licensed for loneliness

somehow I am left with a feeling of nothingness

treasured love lost in the hands of time

something that I gathered through the grapevine.

Tricia Bethel 2003

Not my Friend

by Tricia Bethel on Thursday, July 14, 2011 at 10:42am

You failed to praise me

but someone else will

you failed to congratulate me

but someone else did

You stared at me in my presence

belittled me in my absence

and above it all you say that I am you friend.

you never encouraged me

someone else did

you never gave me a good advice

but you acted totally concerned

to know the truth about me

this 'days of my life' soap opera that you constantly see

and yet in the end you say that I am your friend.

You are not my cup of tea

don't try to brew the essence out of me

you are not my personal advisor

you are not my shrink

so don't try to extract personal information from me

you've got duties of nothingness to perform

duties that you are unable to discern

therefore depart from me

you are not my friend.


Tricia Bethel 2003

Dusk has fallen

Yonder I see

colors of curtained sky unfolding

casting shadows upon still waters

Up close I noticed

a black raven, twig in its beak

hurrying to build its nest among the evergreens.

Creation I imagine

is a speechless experience

bestowed by the mighty hands above.

From afar I hear mother larks screeching for their young ones

soon to be interrupted by the occasional melody of a Piano

emerging from talented hands.

Quickly dark curtains invaded

starlight rising from distant skies

suddenly I heard a voice whispered

say goodnight to such a wonderful sight

for dusk has fallen.


Tricia Bethel 2003

The Game

Doubt and faith

are playing a game of Chess,

one disguised in white

the other in black.

Both are equally powerful

both are just as misleading.

across the board of life

they often clash in mighty battles

striking each other down.

Other times they sit as if,

caught in a time-less stalemate.

Only the player of wisdom

gets to choose his battles

rather than losing them.


by Tricia Bethel on Tuesday, October 4, 2011 at 5:14am